Friday, March 30, 2007

Little Happening in March



Left, Ajarns Year and Speedy consider the true meaning of their lives.


The school year is long over and all our students are enjoying their summer break, but for the teachers and staff of Satit Kaset's International Program we still are asked to come in and work. Thai teachers are a hard working group and summer in this country, at least in the past, was just a time when planning and preparation could be done for the upcoming year. Now Americans like us, we want our 2 1/2 months off to gather our strength and sanity for the coming school year. It is a big adjustment to go from summer breaks which last more than 2 months to an April off and then back to work.
Most of us spend our day sitting around drinking coffee and talking about all the work we need to get finished before next year. I guess I blog a bit. Sometimes we take long lunches at the mall, but over all we put in our day and go home wondering what it was that we did exactly.
Thai companies believe if they are going to pay you then you need to show up for work. Seems fair really. But I think our American employment in education has spoiled us. Well April is upon us now anyway so 30 days of FREEDOM and then back to the grind.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

We broke 500


Well I know this number is not such a big deal, but I feel really good that so many people have dropped into my blog and website to check out my stuff. I put up the counter in late January so I feel sort of encouraged that since then the site has had over 500 unique visits. It took just under 3 months to get 500 so I'm really curious how fast the site gets to 1000. If you have been dropping by now and again, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Here is a list of topics I'll be babbling about soon: Giks (secret and very special friends), my frustration with why Echo Pool still has no delivery date, agents who were just plane rude, former students who are off in the world and doing JUST FINE. But I will leave off for now because there is a squirrel outside my window who is leaping about from branch to branch and there hasn't been this much action around Satit Kaset IP since the students left for summer break, so I'd better go watch.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Younger Women and Older Men

Left Dr. Jim and 2 lovely young ladies.
A question that has been brought up rather often of late, well since many of my American friends have seen photos of my girlfriend/fiance, which concerns her age. It is true she is young for me, but I want to emphasise that she is only young for me on Western standards. In Asia, including Thailand of course, it is more common for the man to be the elder in relationships. In fact the Chinese method for a man looking for a bride is for him to cut his age in half and then add ten years. So, for example, a 40 year old man should look for a 30 year old woman. A 30 year old man should look for a woman of 25 and so forth.
Okay, many of us here in the Kingdom of Thailand have a larger age gap than this. In speaking with 6 of my coworkers the other day it came out that the closest age gap was 12 years and the largest was 16 years. I know that is a very big gap, but let me explain to Westerners a little bit about the differences in culture that explain this.
#1 It is not just about sex. Although the Kamasutra does say that an older man with a young woman is always the best mix for sensual pleasures.
#2 Thai women who are mature and are beginning to wish to date more seriously, seem to feel that older men are a better fit for them because the men are so immature. Many Thai women complain that men here, both Farang and Thai, love to play too much and never take dating seriously. It seems to them the best way to avoid getting a broken heart is to date a man who is beginning to slow down a little. Now about the slowing down a little, please return to #1 and you will see another problem with younger men. Slow it down boys -- slow it down.
#3 Thai women seem to have a different interest in a husband than they do in a friend or even a boyfriend. For instance, when I asked a large class of Assumption University students the first thing they looked for in a boyfriend they responded fun and exciting. The first thing they wanted in a husband was stable and caring. What this results in is girls who date for fun while they are in their teens and early twenties, but by mid-twenties most of them are beginning to look for older men to provide a more satisfactory relationship.
"BUT? How can you have a quality relationship with someone half your age?" someone in Ohio or Kansas or California is screaming.
"Well, how can you have a quality relationship with someone your own age?" would be my response. Come on Americans can not talk about relationships at ALL, until that they get their 75% 1st marriage divorce rate to come dow, because I'm not listening to anyone with a track record that bad. Would you go to a doctor who kills 3 out of 4 of his patients?
Look, it is true that older men are not equal in the relationship with their younger wives. There are times that I feel like a father to my girlfriend, a mentor at least, but is there something wrong with offering my experience to mix and mingle with her exuberance and energy? It would seem temperance enhances vigor.
I believe the age gap is far too big an issue for most Western people and that in truth being the same age offers little or no help in a relationship. Two peole with similar experiences certainly don't offer a lot to a joint venture as important as marriage. Perhaps, if Americans want to get their divorce rate down, the women in the States should begin to look for older men.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Jonathon Siminoe To Work With Serene Design


Jonathon Siminoe the ThaiXpat writer has taken a position working with Serene Design. This company produces three magazines currently, but Jonathon will only be working on the English written Spa Association Magazine. The magazine is currently distributing 12,000 copies but with Serene Design taking this contract the hope is for growth.
Jonathon will be writing stories, assisting Spa Association members to write their press information, and editing the magazine's English. The magazine is bi-lingual, offering every article in both Thai and English.
"I am looking forward to this very new writing challenge. It's really just part time, but will be keeping me busy. I haven't written with journalistic style since my college days. " Jonathon said when he asked himself about the position. Despite the oddness of this one on self interview he went on to say, "all I can say is as an editor of a spa magazine I can foresee lots of visits to Thailand's ultimate resource: the spas, fine dining, and resorts of the Kingdom. "
A little practice for the journalism voice.

THE DEATH of the DOLLAR



I remember my days living in the USA and my belief in the all mighty dollar. I used to think that it made no difference what other currencies in the world were trading at against the dollar because I lived in America where the dollar is all that matters. But this kind of ignorant thinking is probably why the US economy is certainly headed for a complete collapse. Everyone know the US no longer makes anything and therefor they rely on trade and business as their business. But the since the Bush years there has been such a lack of GLOBAL confidence in the US leadership that every major currency has gained blissfully against the dollar.
"Thank God for George Bush," my British friends tease me, "Now our Pound has never been stronger."
I don't really care too much about business, but to be honest this is the sad truth, the dollar's death is stage one of an economic collapse in the US. It doesn't take a genius to see that when the global merchants come to the table to do their negotiating Euros and Pounds and Yen are replacing the dollar as a mode of trade. WHY? Come on, it is becoming so devalued no one can count on it to being stable enough to use. Since my arrival in Thailand, a supposedly third world nation, the Baht has gained nearly 22% against the sagging dollar. Simple math, 1000 bucks used to get me 42,000 baht. As of today's rate, that same 1000 is only going to buy me 32,000.
Now again all the Americans, a nation proud never to travel -- with the lowest number of passports issued to their citizens of any developed nation -- will say I earn my money here and I spend my money here. Well I doubt very much that the company you work for can say the same. Think about it, if the dollar has no value you'll have to keep putting more of them on the table to buy the Nike shoes which are made in Asia, the leather jackets made in Pakistan, the cars made in Japan, etc.
The final truth is the worst of all. Since the Pound has basically doubled the dollar now, one of our biggest trading partners is absolutely the big brother now. Without risking a thing their companies, simply by having their cash in Pounds have added to their resources expedientially and of course this will continue to be the case. You see the value of American's wealth is errantly primarily fixed into the home where they live. If you have a $500,000 home you may say, "there is my security." Oh really, well considering outside investors view your home as only worth about $250,000 compared to its worth six years ago then is your money really so secure?
Has everyone forgotten when Japan bought up half of New York and LA because of the sky rocket of the Yen?
If you are curious about the exchange rates around the world click on the Title and it will take you to a currency exchange site. You will not like what you see. The site is also very handy if you are getting ready to travel to see just what your money will exchange at anywhere in the world. I hope for your sake you are not holding dollars or as the saying goes, 'may your savings be in Pounds!'

Friday, March 23, 2007

Bangkok Policeman Out of Control


In Bangkok there was a horrible incident a couple days ago. There was a policeman, young and out of control, who got drunk with a local bar girl and then demanded that she have sex with him. The girl refused. Nobody knows the details of exactly what her refusal was, I mean whether it was her refusing to give him sex for free or if she just wasn't interested, but regardless of this he went crazy when she told him no.

It's truly a horror story as he went to his police truck and pulled a machete out, returned and hacked off her right arm. The drunken officer, despite witnesses and the girl herself telling the authorities what happened, came out today and claimed that he had not cut off her arm. I guess he thinks perhaps that she cut it off herself or something after he left.

The entire thing is sickening, but I really believe that Thailand has a serious problem with male expectations about sex. It is true that a bar girl often provides sex for money, but it is not always the case and she has the right to chose in these situations. Many girls have told me they don't enjoy dating, especially the younger guys, because the date is like a tab being built. Dinner tacks on about 500 baht, a movie and soft drinks another 500, and maybe a drink somewhere after the movie will add another 500 baht and so the man often feels he is owed something for the 1,500 baht he has spent. I believe, if the culture here was not so shy about talking about this issue, that the number of date rapes in the country would be staggering. In truth it is only recently that schools have begun explaining to girls that a man forcing them to have sex at the end of the date is TRULY WRONG.
But the fear I have is made worse by a conversation I had with some of my 14 year old female students. They are always reading these little pop romance books from Korea and so I asked them what the plots were like. "A man kidnaps a girl and then she will fall in love with him over time and they will (insert giggling) have a relationship and he will become good later."
Ummm????? That sounds like a blue print for disaster to me. Here are girls reading and enjoying stories about forced sexual encounters. I believe the Asian culture still has a long way to go when it comes to equality for people and especially equality for women.

Here is a culture that is so shy about sex that it is seldom talked about in public. Many of my Thai friends never slept with their wives before marriage. High school girls brag of being virgins because the stigma of being sexually active when you are a teenager is extremely ugly.
But in a culture that seems to prize the idea of virgins and of honorable relationships, it also seems to completely neglect the women who are already sexually active. Without a doubt, the bar girls, massage girls, and prostitutes are treated with no respect or consideration. This police officer is nothing but scum and he certainly doesn't represent Thai gentleman, but in some ways his belief that a girl who makes her living in the night life is nothing more than a beast who he can punish indiscriminately does bring up a serious concern.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Survey Says!


Okay The results are in. The FIRST SIMINOE.COM SURVEY has been completed. It seems that 37% of you want me to focus on photos of Thai people, 33% want more of my blogging, 19% want more photos of me, and in the final position 11% of you wanted more photos of Thailand. Thanks very much to everyone who voted, and please check out my new survey about the best things in the Kingdom of Thailand.

This photograph is of some ancient Thai costumes at a Satit Kaset function during the last school year.

Monday, March 19, 2007

BANGKOK DOGS GONE WILD


Sunday morning, after a long night of howling and sniffing, these three dogs shamelessly expressed their affection in the street in front of my apartment building. It is one thing to enjoy a group love experience hidden within the veils of darkness, but these three were unabashed by the illuminating morning sun.
Many of the people who were going about their business were shocked. When I asked the coffee girl at the shop where I was surfing the net and trying to enjoy my coffee, she said only this: "They all seem to be smiling."
I think it is clear that although the dogs were happy, it was very embarrassing for those of us forced to watch this wanton display of sexuality. It was even more annoying that I felt my journalistic responsibility out weighed my prudish desire to just walk away and so I photographed them, and videoed them, wasting nearly 30 minutes of my day off. When will Bangkok Street Dogs learn some discretion?

Sunday, March 18, 2007

STREET COFFEE


I am a hardcore coffee addict and in Thailand it is oh so easy to find a fix. This is a street vendor who is brewing the black nectar through a sock. The coffee is not exactly the flavor the Thais are looking for so they add a great deal of sugar and milk to it and in the coffee shops you see heaps of whip cream topping nearly any drink, but especially the mocha.
I find it funny because my first journey to Thailand in 1997 it was the absence of coffee which first made me realize I was addicted to the caffeine. I was living at my friend Mod's bachelor home and living a very Thai local life. This was my focus as I didn't want to be a tourist and bounce around to every photo opportunity I wanted to see what it felt like to live in a Thai neighborhood, eat Thai food, drink Thai drinks, and just live and write about the experience.
BUT NO COFFEE? The only thing I could find in those days was instant coffee unless I visited a hotel where I would get coal black coffee which had probably been ground some time during the Japanese occupation in the 40's. It was truly awful and so I gave up chasing it and just accepted that Thailand was a coffee free zone. The headaches from the withdrawal was so painful I thought I would die. After seven years of teaching and drowning myself in caffeine to keep up with the youth of America I had never really been without coffee.
What is funny is that I used this occurrence to break myself of the habit and returned to the USA drinking herbal tea. When I finally made the decision to move here five years ago I had been off coffee for years, but on my return I found that coffee shops were popping up on every corner like cockroaches scurrying out of drains following a rain.
Now it is a bit ironic that by meeting my Thai friends in a nice quiet place where we could chat I slowly rejuvenated my lust and need for coffee. But it gets even more addictive because all the coffee houses have figured out that if they offer FREE WIRELESS a guy like me, who is too cheep to have the Internet in my home, will justify another cup of joe to stay on line. I'm hooked like a FISH.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Black Eyes and Questions


The story: So there I was, coming out of the badminton center after an exhausting work out. I heard a muffled cry and ran to see if I could help. Around the side of the building 3, no 5 hooded thugs were dragging an innocent and beautiful virgin away as she struggled and screamed.
"Where you guys think you're taking that Virgin?" I asked.
"None of your BEEP BEEP BEEP you BEEPIN' BEEP!"
That's when I knew what I had to do. Deftly I slipped my glistening racket from my racket pouch, careful to select the 1000 baht Succeed brand instead of my 3000 baht Yonex. Then I attacked, swinging my racket like a mad man, but a mad man on a mission. The virgin, who later I found out was named Quing Ming, shoved away one of her assailants and stood with her hands on her face watching me as I cut to ribbons her evil abductors.
"Thank you," she hummed as the 7 hooded men lay at my feet unconscious.
"No problem," I respond, sliding my racket back within my pouch like a sword returning to its sheath. "I needed work on my backhand anyway."
The TRUTH: I was scrambling backward because my opponent, Austin, had hit a deep clear and when I swung my racket it slipped out of my sweaty hand and the racket edge slammed into my eye dropping me to the wooden planks of the badminton court like a boxer being tagged by a 20 year old Tyson.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Speedy and Savittree
























































One of the most beautiful things in the world is a wedding; it fills everyone with a sense of optimism. The world can be falling apart but it seems love will always find a way to bring people’s spirits up. This weekend I was at my close friend and co-worker Speedy Arnold’s wedding to his lovely wife Savittree. Actually the two got married in Georgia USA last year, but now it was time to do the Thai traditional wedding for Savittree’s family and friends. It was an amazing fusion of East meets West.
Speedy has just been working with us at Satit Kaset for one year, but he has already made a lot of friends and many of us showed up to help him celebrate his love. In truth these two are almost never apart and are the kind of couple most of us just say, “Wow, if there is such a thing as a soul mate, they have found theirs.”
Thai weddings are filled with ceremony. I find in Thailand they love to shorten phrases and words, but when it comes to shortening a celebration or a ceremony they really can’t see the point. It begins, as most things in Thailand do, with a dawn blessing by 9 monks. Following the monks’ prayers and then their eating, the friends of the groom form a parade to bring him to the home village, obviously ceremonial now day, to ask for his bride. Along the way we are stopped by her family members and elders who demand we not pass without paying them a small bribe. The envelope is given to them and then they pull back their beads and allow us to pass. Finally he arrives at his bride and is welcomed into her home.
There are many other little steps. At one point the bride is hidden by a close family member and the groom must go through the guests in search of his love. There is a fertility ritual which really goes back, before Buddhism even, where guests offer a blessing by poring water from a shell over the hands of the couple. One of the most interesting is the presentation of the dowry, a plate full of money and gold. There is no real dowry usually in modern Thailand; however, it still does exist in some of the villages outside the city. My favorite ceremony of all is the blessing of the wedding bed. Here the eldest couple at the wedding is asked to lie on the new sheets of the couple and sort of bless the bed. Then the couple gets on the bed and remains in the room for 9 minutes. This is just GOOD LUCK.
But don’t get the idea that all of this is some kind of serious and stressful event where everyone must kneel and bow and stay quiet all the time. Come on now, this is Thailand, even while things are going on with the couple everyone around is sipping on beers or whiskey and eating food and chatting and laughing. It is an upbeat function which is meant to be enjoyed by all.
Beers at 8:30 in the A.M.? Why not, it’s hot enough in Thailand once the sun comes up to feel like it’s the afternoon. ENJOY YOUR LIFE TOGETHER SPEEDY and SAVITTREE!

SAD NEWS FROM MY SOI




Sad news from my Soi (Thai for Street). About a month ago a party from across the street woke me up at three in the morning. I went to my balcony and looked down at the typical party scene, young people ranging from 15 to 25 were hanging out in someone’s front yard drinking and singing and enjoying the evening. On several occasions I heard them singing happy birthday (Thai style but in English) so I thought hey, I’ve got to work tomorrow but it is someone birthday so let them enjoy their night. The worst part of the party were the screeching and revving of motorcycle engines, rice burning street racers, which dominate the night once the party began to break up. I can sleep through a drunken version of Happy Birthday, but these modified screaming bikes could wake the dead.
I joked with the security guards about it in the morning and they confirmed that it was the boy across the street that had enjoyed his birthday yesterday. They shyly said it wouldn’t happen again and I responded, well probably not until next year, but they didn’t get the lame joke. When they misunderstood me they seemed to think I was saying I didn’t want it to happen again and then went on to say that we should understand about him, his father was murdered just a few weeks ago. I was shocked. Bangkok is a city of over 10 million people, but unlike western cities the violent crime rate is staggeringly low. There are of course murders, but the one or two that you read about in the papers every week are so few that one can begin to feel as if you live in a violence free nirvana or something. His father had been gunned down not far from my Soi on Lat Prakao.
Now the next day I got my first real look at the kid. He was big for a Thai with bull like shoulders, a square jaw, and long hair with sort of a mullet look. He was straddling a black modified motorcycle; the handlebars were chopped giving him maneuverability of an almost video game dexterity. I like guys like this. A bit tough, rough around the edges, and yet when I looked into his face to kind of size him up, he didn’t look away from me – he looked me in the eyes like a man and I recall I gave him a little nod and he returned the gesture.
The following night he had planned to continue the party and motorcycles were arriving just before the sunset, but neighbors or people in my apartment building on lower floors must have complained because before it could even get wound up the police were there in a gaggle of motorcycles and Isuzu trucks and they defused it. The guards told me in the morning that I didn’t have to worry about him making noise again, the police had taken care of it.
A few weeks passed and I began to see this kid hanging around at his house more and more. Now he should have been in school of that I was certain. He was probably about 20 but I guess maybe school wasn’t working for him. Usually I just saw him working on his bike or zooming through gaps in the often gridlocked Lat Prakao.
I thought to myself that kid needs a man who cares about him to knock him on his ass or the world is going to do it and when the world does it you don’t always recover. I know it was a strange thought, but I remember once when I was just a few years younger than him and I was just getting too big for my britches as my father’s generation would have said it. I thought I knew everything, that I was stronger than anyone, that I was the authority on everything. One night I said some rude things to my mother, probably more because I’d been out drinking with my friends than any real malice toward my mother (she has always meant the world to me) but these things slipped out. My father took one step and this man who had never laid a hand on me past about my 5th birthday, dropped me like a sack of wheat from the back of a loading truck. My jaw was out of place and my big britches were shrunk fit as I came to my senses before standing up. I apologized to my mother and him, because what I’d said had been rude enough to make him hurt his only son and in that moment I realized how big of an idiot I had been.
This kid needed someone, a teacher or uncle or coach or maybe it could have been some Farang who lived across the street, but someone to care enough to knock him on his ass. Not just knock him there, but then to lift him up by his hand and let him know someone cares enough to hurt their fist. No one did and yesterday when I came home I saw his little gang of motorcycle kids all hanging around the front of his house, but there were no birthday songs, no clinking drink glasses, they were speaking soft words and all clad in black. The guards (who are the news of my Soi as you can tell) confirmed the obvious. I don’t even know what his name was, but he road that black chopped bike too fast and too furious and sure enough the world knocked him back a notch. A kid like him shouldn’t have died so young. I’ve been teaching nearly 13 years now and sadly I’ve seen this too many times before.
We can’t save ‘em all, but guys we need to try and save a few of these young bloods when we can. I sure wish I would have done something, even with my lousy Thai, to talk with him.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

He SITS WITH THE SPIRITS



I don't know his name, but he sits in front of our building's spirit house all night. He sits and eats chips, smokes cigarettes, and drinks coke. He, according to the security guards down stairs, is visiting the ghosts which reside in the spirit house. They say he talks with the dead.

The first time I met him I hopped out of my truck and heard someone laughing. I spun around and saw him chuckling on his step. I said, "Sawadee Crop," and this made him laugh even harder. But in truth I don't think he knew if I was real or not -- spirit or in the living. Perhaps to him the difference has completely faded away.

It is sad to see him out there every morning, his legs twisted in that uncomfortable looking posture and both of them twitching and bouncing as if he had enough energy to run a marathon. He seems oblivious to all most of the time, but every once in a while when I walk by I get a smile from him -- shy and uncertain, but perhaps he is just a few steps away from rejoining us in the world of the living.

Sports Day MEANS FUN IN THE SUN






















Sports day for Satit Kaset International Program means that it is the end of the year! Summer has come at last for our school and everyone was ready for a good day of sport and a brilliant lunch before hugging each other goodbye for another summer. It has been a GREAT YEAR, but I think we are all ready for a break! Thailand is about to get a few degrees hotter and while this unbearable heat is in effect it's best to take a break from studies. How hot will it get? It's going to be consistantly in the 90's but the difference between 90's here and in the US is that 90's here has humidity and night time barely phases the heat. It might be 95 all afternoon and slide down to a cozy 90 for the night. No relief.






Friday, March 9, 2007

Why Rules Are Made to be BROKEN


It is a love tale and it is a tragic one. One of Thailand's most beloved Kings was Rama 5. He is credited with leading Thailand into the modern world. While he was king many of the royals would travel by boat upon the mighty rivers of the kingdom. In fact transportation by boat was so common in those days that Bangkok was known as the Venice of Asia. Even today you can take a boat to get around some of the more congested areas of Bangkok, but sadly many of the waterways have been filled in and replaced with concrete.
But back to King Rama 5. The story goes that one day his queen was traveling from Ayuttaya to Bangkok when her boat hit some choppy water. She was tossed overboard and despite the fact that she was close enough to the boat for her oarsmen to easily pull her from the waves it was a death sentence to any servant who touched a Royal. So imagine the frustration of these men as they watched their queen drowning in the river and were forced by the laws of the time to stand by and watch her go under.
In the end the King changed the rule, but his wife was lost. I really didn't get all the details, but this monument is to honor her and her tragic death. I guess the idea of questioning authority wouldn't come along for a few more generations. Hard to imagine something like this.
But don't be too sad for King Rama 5 because during his life he would have more than 50 children with 3 main wives and close to 50 different little wives. That's a lot of love!

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Coffee House Run Needs Feedback

Coffee House Run is a piece of fiction I'd love to share. Just click on the live link above and it will take you directly to it. Take the feedback poll to help me when I get ready to revise this piece.

Damn Shiny Car Wash











Here's a little story I've got to tell about one special day in the Kingdom. It was a tragic day, a damn shame really, a day with so much blissful potential and with such a sad twist at the end that I still walk by the setting of this tale and can feel a sense of loss -- lost opportunities and lost bliss. Truthfully it has been thousands of years since Eve made her snake-driven error and got human kind kicked out of the garden of Eden. Well my banishing error just happened three months ago on a typical Bangkok Sunday.
The evening before had been rather boring. I'd worked teaching my Chinese class and had gone to Tesco to pick up some groceries, the usual blah blah blah of life. But as I turned onto the street to exit the Tesco I noticed a very cool new business. Damn Shiny Car Wash and Caffeine Bar. Now I am a simple man. I enjoy sitting in coffee shops which offer me FREE wireless Internet, sipping on a mocha (hot or iced) doing some reading, writing, or just surfing the net for pleasure. I spend hours in coffee shops and in fact my novel which is coming out I hope at the end of April, ECHO POOL, was written almost in entirety in various coffee shops around Bangkok. I also love to have a fresh smelling, clean and shiny truck to roam around in. I love to get my blue Isuzu truck glistening in the Bangkok Sun.
So imagine a CAR WASH and COFFEE SHOP!
I arrived at Damn Shiny and was greeted by an eager young man with a towel wrapped around his shoulders. He was ready to go to work and so was I as I had my lap top slung over my shoulder and many writing projects peculating in my mind. I often work on three or four projects at once and on this day I had the urge to create -- true inspiration.
The owner greeted me in the coffee shop waiting area, he was a gentleman with a soft expression and a generous manner. He treated me as if I was a guest entering his home. "Welcome. We have the coffee," "Yes," I mumbled.
"We have free wireless."
"Sweet," I added.
"And a discount on your coffee since you are getting your car washed with us."
"Bonus," I concluded.
In truth this was a writer's nirvana. The aroma of coffee wafted from the counter as they went to work grinding my mocha beans and then brewing my drink. The Internet, especially because I was only the second customer, was lightening fast and I slipped onto the world wide web as easy as slipping between freshly washed sheets. Oh I felt good. This place was in my neighborhood, it was perfect, and it would be the place where I could become a regular and they would give me discounts on coffee and introduce me to their family members and offer me day old pastry and such. The novels I'd write in this place would not only sell but they would, as my fame grew global, become prize winners and the people at damn shiny would put a brass plaque on one table, the one I always sit at, that says "Reserved for Sim the writer."
I know you may think I was going a bit overboard, but embellishment is my life folks.
So Sim, what went wrong? After chatting with the owner for a long time with my enthusiasm for his establishment shiny through, he told me he would look forward to seeing me next weekend and that he really wanted to ask me as a Farang what I thought of certain products he was going to offer and so forth. We had really connected in that owner future customer way.
So my truck was beautiful, magnificently shiny as they pulled it up to the door and I paid and tipped and climbed into my truck with such a feeling of satisfaction and joy.
I began to pull out onto the narrow, nearly alleyway, street when all of a sudden a BIG GREEN TRUCK which took up one and 1/2 of the two lanes revved its engine and raced right at me. Quickly I swerved to avoid a head-on collision, but my back bumper caught the damn damn shiny sign and as I recovered from my maneuver I checked my side window and saw the sign teetering and then BOOM, down it went. With plastic engraved signs I knew it was probably broken.
What could I do? I had blown my chance to be a regular at damn shiny. I had killed this man's new sign. I started to pull over, but the cars behind me were honking and rushing me and it was then that I made the terrible decision. I did not stop. I punched it and drove away.
Days passed, then weeks, and now more than three months and still I have not returned to Damn Shiny. I have been banished by my own accord. I snuck by last night to take these photos and looked through the windows to see many happy customers typing away at their damn lap tops in their damn caffeine induced euphoria and all I could think was.
What might have been?

Monday, March 5, 2007

Can You Read The Sign?


The Thais have come onto the anti smoking bandwagon! If you are a smoker can I offer you a piece of advice or you could see this as invoking a piece of my mind. Stop being a sucker! Stop spreading your stink to the rest of us! You want to die, that's a choice you can make because this life is your life to do with it what you want. But all your death is achieving is someone else's wealth. It sickens me to think of the Marlboro people kicking back and selling their addictive filth to any and all, laughing at the sheer stupidity of their customer. I mean come on, if you were playing poker with someone and all night they kept dealing you off the bottom of the deck and giving themselves aces, are you going to sit there and keep paying for that kind of suffering. Cigarette companies want you to live, not die, corpses don't buy their product, but they do expect you to suffer from withdrawal and cravings equal to if not worse than heroine for the rest of your life.
"Sim Lighten up! Smoking helps my stress."
Yes, it will! You know once all those cigarettes are through with you they will have ended all your stress, but before you go to your blissful grave let me hip you to the truth about your impending demise. You ever listen to someone with lungs filled with fluid gurgle a mixture of phlegm and air bubbles, because it's more grating than a fist full of nails being drug across a chalkboard until they snap. It's a grave soundtrack to a tragedy in which the hero will be laying on their back powerless. I'd like to take Marlboro's CEOs and tie them up and let them sit in a room full of lung cancer ridden patients on breathing machines. Now I know they are soulless, but even they might feel something if they could just hear… Just listen to them dying.
So you 13 or 14 and smoking? Well that's the age they shoot for with their cool image James Dean B.S. We real cool, we skip school, we smoke butts, we break rules. We think for ourselves once MTV tells us what it is we're supposed to like.
Smokers, stop giving your hard earned cash to the cigarette companies and cutting your throat slow.
My father died at age 67. He was as strong as a bull. His right hand nearly broke my thumb when he took his last gasp and let it go… Strong, yeah, my hero all his days. Gone, yeah, and from cancer? NO. From Lung Cancer! From Smoking! Don't believe any of their hype he had no history of lung cancer. He also didn't slip, fall, and land on a cigarette and start puffing. He became addicted at 19 during his military stint, no bullets reached him but that one.

Ayuttaya




A Thai monk is transported across a river in Ayuttaya. The location is on the outskirts of the city near the summer palaces of Rama V. The beauty of this historical site is the eclectic nature of this king. He traveled out of the Kingdom and everywhere he went he wanted to bring back the beauty or innovations he saw. The Chinese palaces you see above could rival anything seen in the nation of China, perhaps not in size, but in decorative design it would be hard to find a more beautiful structure. Walking around on these royal grounds is truly magical as flowers and pools of water offer not only a delightful vision, but a lovely floral aroma.
It is not a free location, but I believe it was only about 30 baht for a gate entry that lasts all day. If you come to visit, you're going to need all day to truly see it all.
I highly recommend visiting this ancient capital of Siam and if you do, you must come to the summer palace. Soi Mag!

Sunday, March 4, 2007

COFFEE GIRLS of KASET


I love to believe that no matter what part of the world I am in that there are good people. Thailand is a nation where so many have come to work and I believe that part of the reason is the people.
The other day I was really having a bad day. I woke up early, but felt terrible--summer colds are the worst they say and its summer every day in Thailand--and so I left my apartment without my money. Of course, I discovered this fact when I had already received my coffee from these two young ladies. They smiled at my embarrassment and said, "Tomorrow is okay. Pay us tomorrow."
I guess this is a small thing, but I must say that if I was in the evil empire (STARBUCKS) then I have a feeling the response would have been a little bit different. I believe it would have been to have my coffee taken back or perhaps to have me stopped at the door by their security guard and perhaps have me taken out back and beaten. Not here! These girls allowed me my addiction and smiled and trusted me to bring them the money the next day!
So I feel it is important to point out that these girls are not only working in 90% heat every day within this canteen, but they work 6 to 7 days a week for 13 hours a day in it. If they work hard they get 250 baht a day. Why don't they quit? Easy. No visa. They are Burmese refugees who have escaped the bloodshed in their nation to work here. They are survivors and perhaps that is why they have the compassion to help a fellow working stiff out when he is having a bad day.
Good people. I wish I could do something for them, but in truth they are trapped by their Thai bosses to work for pennies while this little coffee shop rakes in a fortune a day.
We can't change the world, but being nice to one another and offering a smile certainly does go a long way to making us all feel a lot better.

Friday, March 2, 2007

Mike Has Been Forced to Retire at 65

Mike has worked in the movie industry and TV industry here in Thailand as a sound and music man. He is a talented musician and enjoys the challenge of laying down sound to make the film's images come more to life. He is an ENGLISHMAN, but unless he's had more than 3 of those steins of beer he's easy enough to understand. After 3 he slips into that thick British brogue about birds and rubbish and such. Even when we can't understand him he's good company.
Sadly for Mike he has been forced to leave his teaching job at Arpapirom in Bangkok where he has been working with children and sharing his love of music. Thailand has a strict policy about retirement and to work after the age of 65 is prohibited. He said it was a sad day when he had to stop teaching because 65 or not, he has a lot of energy. I can attest to that because I hear the music coming through his door at all hours of the night and Nan and I enjoy trying to guess just what kind of film he is putting the music to.
He has told me that he will entertain the idea of private tutoring, but in music only, because he doesn't enjoy teaching English all that much. He is a good neighbor and as a movie man he has a lot to offer in the technical aspects of sight and sound!

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Cinema Paradiso Saves the Day




It has long been a dream of mine to work in film. I have taught script writing for a decade now, but never really tried to get anything I've written produced. My problem is that I was trained as a teacher and have my masters in the field; however, while my emphasis was education, I studied film during my masters and fell in love with the genre. I often throw together movie scripts or usually just 60 or 70 pages of them anyway, just to kill time between classes and sometimes I have someone read them and they give me a lot of strokes and "Do something with these" and then I toss them back in the drawer and go teach my classes. Well I did not leave the security of my life in America to play it safe! So I've been writing some Thai stories and I am going to start shopping my services around to the Thai Film world a bit.
Can a film by made in ENGLISH in THAILAND? I believe it can! Exporting a high quality film, something that world wide audience can access through English (not subtitles or dubbing) is something I believe in!
Last night I had a delicious and smokin' hot dinner at Crokmai and had a meeting with the owner Mr. Suchat Phathum, who has acted in many Thai films. His brother Mr. Surasri Phathum is a well known director in Thailand, in fact two of his films are on the list of the top 100 films you must see which were made in Thailand. He joined us late in the evening and it was amazing what happened.
The language barrier was beginning to rear it's ugly head. My best friend Mod is completely bi-lingual and he was able to translate for us, but Surasri was not sure if I was just some American Wannabe writer/actor and so he had little interest in the ideas that I was sharing. Then something magical happened, and in truth I could almost hear the church bells ringing in the Italian village, when Mod, who was feeling a tad bit frustrated by the lack of connections, mentioned one of our favorite films. Cinema Paradiso.
Mr. Surasri had not looked at me during the meeting, he had not smiled, nor had he spoken one word of English. But as Mod began to talk about his love and my love of the world's greatest love story suddenly he turned to me, his face transforming into a wide smile, and said in quality English: "If you love this film, you must be a real writer!"
I have taught classes filled with thugs and gangsters, hip-hop kids, jocks, preps, skaters, stoners, rock-heads, ditto heads, Asian, Black, Spanish, White, and I always try to show this film to them. Subtitles and all it is always a HIT. 18 year old muscle bound boys crying like babies and street smart teenage girls giggling with delight at the scene at the water drive in. I love this film and if you haven't seen it then go NOW and rent it and watch the STUDIO VERSION ONLY. The directors cut is rubbish!
Giuseppe Tornatore's film loosened us up for the night and then things went well. We'll see if we can work together in the future, but I have at least made a new friend. Click above to link to the Cinema Paradiso web site. GO RENT THIS FILM!